What AI Knows About You & How to Regain Control of Your Data

By Tom | Published 1st November 2025

Some links are affiliate links. If you shop through them, I earn coffee money—your price stays the same.
Opinions are still 100% mine.

I had a moment the other day that stopped me in my tracks. My AI assistant, the one I use mainly for setting timers and checking the weather, suggested an article about a niche hobby that I’d only ever discussed in a private chat with a friend. It was a useful suggestion, but it felt… a touch too familiar. It got me thinking: what does my AI actually know about me?

That question opened a whole rabbit hole that led to a tempting and sometimes disquieting trade-off that I found. We receive great convenience, personalized recommendations and powerful “tools,” but in return we give a constant flow of personal data.

The good news? We’re not powerless. We can understand the transaction, and we can do things to protect our privacy. Here’s a few thoughts about what your AI knows, why it knows it, and how you can put in some healthy boundaries.

The Upside of a Brighter Digital Life

Before we plunge into privacy issues, it’s only fair to state the good news before we talk about privacy issues. The magic of AI is the intelligence garnering useful insights from our data. Think about these things:

• Pain-Free Experiences: Your streaming service knows you are a sucker for science fiction, and it’s got the perfect new series that launched last week, waiting for you.
• Unbelievable Convenience: Let your helper manage your calendars, control your lights, and answer your children's inquiries without limit because it knows what you do all the time.
• Enhanced Services: In certain fields like medicine and finance, AI can study the available data and help discover diseases sooner and detect fraudulent charges on your credit card.

This is not magic but is based on data. However, in a time of life of increased application of AI, perhaps most noticeable in the rise of AI companionships, the difference between helpful and intrusive can become blurred.

Privacy Controls and Audit Tools with Companion Services

One of the fastest growing areas of AI is with companion services—AI friends and partners with the purpose of providing emotional relationship. These programs encourage communications of the inner thoughts, creating an unusual difficulty in private information. The event in 2024 with a released AI chat bot data base indicates how much information is available and how much fragile information can be provided.

When I examined the policies of several familiar services, the extent of AI and personal data collection became apparent. Many platforms, from well-known names like SecretDesires and Kupid.ai to others such as ourdream.ai, Herahaven, Joi.com, Lovescape, and Sweetdream.ai, have varying approaches to user data.

• Nomi.ai: Collects account information, conversations, technical information. They announce that the chats are anonymous, but this information is use in the training of their Chatbot.
• Candy.ai: Their policies state data could be shared with the affiliates and use of conversation data reflects assumptions of improvement in the AI.

A 2025 study of the Top AI companion applications stated that 80% possibly made use of this deeply personal information to keep track of users for advertising purposes. This is where we must be active in our chastisement of the data retention policies. You can see a direct comparison of how different services handle these issues in our other articles.

Reclaiming Control: How to Handle AI Privacy Settings

The most productive step you can take is to go into the settings of whatever AI tools you are using every day, as they have been found to be the leading AI developers that tend to use your chat data for training purposes by default, plus from a 2025 Stanford study, their privacy data is usually incomprehensible.

To ease the pain of the settings process herewith are those settings that are to be altered across the major platforms.

A Handy list for Better Results Privacy

Overawed? I get that. I have found it helpful to use a inducing a simple format which I call the Three R's.

The 3 R's of Digital Privacy Checklist:

• Review: Take 15 minutes once each month and audit your digital footprint. Check app permissions on your phone and review privacy settings for your most-used AI and social media services.
• Restrict: Wherever you can limit data collection. Disable ad personalization, use privacy-focused browsers with tracker blockers, and don't provide information if a service doesn't need it.
• Remove: Proactively delete the information that you don't want companies to have. Clear AI chat histories regularly, use your "right to be forgotten," and delete old, unused online accounts.

Your Secret Weapon: The Data Subject Access Request (DSAR)

A legal right under regulations such as the European GDPR gives you the ability to request to any company a copy of all the personal information that they maintain on you. This is the Data Subject Access Request, or DSAR, and it is a powerful tool for transparency.

How to File a DSAR

1. Find the Data Controller: In the company's privacy policy, find their legal name and contact information for privacy requests.
2. Draft Your request: You can contact a company via email/email or through its privacy portal. A simple message along the lines of "Excuse my right of access to my personal data under the GDPR, please provide me with a copy of all personal data that you hold about me" is often sufficient. You should add your own name and your account email.
3. Confirm Your Identity: You will be asked to verify your identity that you are who you say you are. This is a normal security aspect of the exercise.
4. Wait For The Reply: Companies normally have about a month to reply. You will receive a file containing your data. Filing a DSAR can be a real eye-opener and is a good starting point in understanding your internet footprint.

The AI world moves incredibly fast but our rights to privacy should not be neglected. By being aware of our rights, using the tools we have and demanding further transparency from the tech world we can enjoy all the benefits of AI.

- Tom.